zoom

Soap

2011-10-09T23:12:00.003+08:00

I am actually very extremely busy right now that I shouldn't be typing anything here but I think I need a breather. I am in rage/hulk mode currently that it distracted me from doing the things I should be doing. It's week 11 for uni already, 1 Psychology essay on eating disorder due next next week, final year Psychology research paper due same week, 6 online tests due the same week too. And my first paper is on 3rd Nov, finance paper which require full preparation on each week tutorial which I was too busy to be doing. And with the situations I have to faced every day, I am under time constraint and stress almost every second of the day. I am not exaggerating as if I am some celebrity which is so damn busy but you don't know me so you don't know what I need to go through every single day. Unstable meal times, insufficient sleep, headaches, weight loss, constant rushing around and etc, I know is unhealthy, but things won't give me a break.

I am easily rage lately because of all those reasons and especially for those people in my life that always give me fucking excuses on IMPORTANT things, I mean come on, if I ask you out for yamcha then you said your goldfish died and you need to have a funeral in the toilet for your precious goldfish then I don't fucking bother. But, its uni related and work related and financial related, you give me excuses like "I don't wanna wake up so early', 'I got work', 'It's far', etc., FUCKING STUPID OKAY! I can wake up early, I got work too, I stayed further than you, I travelled to you too, then why I can and you can't? FUCKING ASSHOLES !! (this assholes applied to a wide range of people in my life).

Yes, you may see me as a hyper unresponsible kid because I am always jumping and hyper when I am around with people (family and close friends), I am always the one making stupid jokes, annoying faces and etc, I always don't go for lectures (never change I know :s), I always dress slumber, look chillax. Yea, I used to be very unresponsible and never actually realised there's more things in life than those that I priority in, but after what had happened, what I've been through since last year end, I swear I am more mature than some people that is 25 and still putting stupid stuffs as their priority. I may look small and childish, but no, I've became much more serious in things that need to be serious with and there's more things in life to learn and go with than our average little bubble.

So I grew up, those assholes around me have to start growing up! I've seen a lot but there's much more for me to see and learn in life and much more space to grow up with but I dare say, I bet my life on it, I am much more mature than some people in my life that are few years older than me.

Ok, done raging. I am out.

Months ago. The contrast of what I am feeling right now.

Till then.

autobiographical

2011-08-25T15:15:00.002+08:00

My companion of assignment period.

This is wicked.

I am content

2011-08-09T17:28:00.001+08:00

I am receiving quite a number of 'complaints' ,okay la not complaints but web (e.g. Jiunn sweetie's) and verbal requests from people to reactivate my Facebook because they miss looking at my pictures? You know la my fans club misses me :p ok no la perasan gila babi but they reminded me that it has been abit too long. Another reason also because whenever they wanna gossip or talk about others, videos or songs, they have to open their Facebook on the spot so that they can tell me stories, so sometimes abit troublesome la kan?

I did realised it has been too long but I am already used to it. :/ I am used to not having Facebook anymore, and I don't miss it at all (sorry account). It's not like I use it much when I have it so it doesn't make much difference though. Hmmm. But I guess those requests still doesn't tempt me (sorry people, the significant reasons for me to reactivate it again are not significant enough to trigger my threshold).
I have so much going on right now that I guess it's better to stay low for now till I deal with everything that I have in hand now then only go busybody over other people stories.

So here are some outdated pictures from my phone or from friends that I remember since I went mia.

totally random food picture to make you salivate :p #1

total random #2

totally random sister's boyfriend #3

semester started #4

this I randomly miss #5

ps: I think is time to get a camera.

39. Nuff said.

Need I say more?!

2011-07-26T22:46:00.000+08:00

green

2011-07-26T21:29:00.004+08:00

This I just had to share. If you don't get it, it's okay, not many people get my randomness and imaginativeness (I think this is not a word)

Especially 0:45(see how the guy actually FLOAT by into the video) & 2:34

I showed this to my sister and she said: oh please, stop watching stupid videos, childish sial.

My sister clearly don't understand the awesomeness of old school musics and videos.

The. Rolling. Stone.

2011-07-26T20:18:00.000+08:00

socks

2011-07-10T16:20:00.002+08:00

Results are out and I passed everything! :) pretty happy about it but a little bit disappointed with both Psychology units though, but then again, with so much going on lately, I guess is ok? :p excuses la I know

Now, truly enjoy what's left of holiday :D food fiesta!

So I see

2011-07-09T00:35:00.004+08:00

I get this a lot lately.

'Jean did you delete me on Facebook?'.

And I everytime have to say no and explain the reason in summary form.

Few days ago, a friend told me, 'Thank god I have your phone number, if not, who knows where the hell are you. I thought where did you disappear to.'. True that, I mean he has a point though, without Facebook, I only use Twitter and not much of my friends use it and I am not active in my MSN anymore, so if they were to look for me, the only way is to call/text me straight, if not I guess I am consider 'dead'? Haha. I joked back and said, 'well if someone had murder or kidnap me, I guess no one will know except those that are close to me, those that talk to me often?'. But, I realised without Facebook, there is less drama? Like they say, 'What you can't see, you can't feel. What you can't feel, it won't hurt you.' <- okay la it doesn't sound that completely right but something like that.

As you may realised, I don't blog personal stuffs here anymore if you compare to all my old posts (if you are long term loyal follower then maybe you do realised), people changed and people grow up, thats all I can say? And maybe because I don't have the time to sit in front of the computer anymore? And also, not much pictures anymore. Reasons? 1. No Facebook, want photos? Ask people to email me and sometimes I shy because its troublesome? So no photos. If got, also abit outdated, get it after weeks :/ 2. My photos are all in Mr.Yu's harddisk :/

ps: I feel like I am getting away from the internet world? The only time I use were for Youtube. And I don't have much time for that anymore. Sigh growing up -_-"

pss: I felt abit left-out when my friends were talking about Facebook stuffs and especially yesterday or the day before someone actually told me Facebook chat has video chat?! Last time I am not even active in Facebook chat (always offline) and now they have video call?! I think I just stayed in a cave for 3months :O

psss: Because I can't stand my bb battery life so I purposely bought a purple car charger months back but realised my car charger place is not useable so now everyday I have to charge my phone all the time when I'm home and when I'm out, I have to bear with low battery after few hours :|

pssss: I finally have very long curls hair but I lost weight, okbye.

I smell Escada

2011-06-30T00:30:00.001+08:00

Warning: This post gonna be lengthy so you have been warned to stop reading from here. Okbye.

It has been awhile now that I am in my 1month holiday. And I could finally say that I have consume back sufficient sleep (maybe a little bit too much) that I have lost for the past 3months. My daily routine would be: woke up at noon (usually 1 or 2pm), check phone with missed calls/messages/bbms/whatsapp, no one at home, stone awhile (30mins or so), reply calls/messages/bbms/whatsapp, start planning for the day, dress up a little (not realy. usually tanks and shorts/minis because the weather too hot!), then roam around like a drifter.

Time do pass really fast each day, 6months ago I was still an intern, a girl that was still confuse about a lot of things, but 6months later, I can proudly say that I have really became a better person with the life changing experiences (I literally meant life changing, not just a metaphor but really TOUGH situations) that happened in this short half year. It was not easy at first, with other things such as relationship and studies to juggle with, but now, I think I can manage? I still do feel sorrow once in awhile but you know me, I will eventually be happy and hyper again after awhile.

People say as you grow, responsibilities and burden grow as well. And I never truly understand that until now, after what had happened in these past 6months, I finally feel the responsibilities coming right down on me like a heavy rock. Sometimes I feel helpless though.

And yea, I am scare of being 20 soon. Very. Very. As for birthdays, funny thing is that I always depends on Facebook to help me remember people birthdays and now, since I don't own a Facebook, I am ready to accept my fair 'punishment' from friends if they forgot when my birthday is. But then again, I don't want something big this time, I want to quietly***** pass my kidshood into the next stage of life. BUT! For sure, even though my mind is growing, my soul is still as hyper and crazy as a kid, it will be, always. :)

***** quietly but doesn't mean NO birthday ok people that actually read this, if you want to buy me a present/car/house/Spongebob/batman/drink/dinner/anything, I STILL WANT ok? tak tau malu sikit.

So, in relation to age, there's another weird thing that had been going around. My mother is telling every one that I am getting married soon. Wtf?! Mum, I am not even officially 20 yet, and who am I going to be marry to now? Siapa nak kahwin budak ni yang masih nampak macam budak? I highly suspect she has migrate plans that does not include me -_-

✩

Remember my previous post about WongFu Productions videos? I have finally spent my time watching all videos on Youtube after exam and I am obsessed with Philip Wang! ;p I have fetish over guys that are fat/chubby and/or guys with thick eyebrows and hairy face, I mean with mustache, beards and goatees! Hugh Jackman? Ed Westwick? David Villa? Philip Wang? :p hehehe. If a guy have both the criteria then confirm will make me go crazy.
And also, I realised the other dude, Wesley Chan look exactly like one of my ex boyfriend from high school! :O

✩

I am going crazy with my bb battery life. Last time when I was using my Nokia, I use it to text every second and talk on the phone for hours and the battery doesn't drain much. Now? I rarely use to text as often as I do and I rarely talk on the phone as much and the battery drained very fast! :( usually phoneless by end of noon.

That's all for now.

flip

2011-06-10T04:12:00.003+08:00

Well hello, this gonna be a pretty long writing post so if you don't feel like reading stop reading now.

I am currently awake at 3.13am. Yes, I know it may be normal for me to be awake at this hour during finals but I am awake because I must and not that I want to! Why? Because I was so smart I ordered cham(cantonese, means tea + coffee, with extra coffee) ice when I went out for a drink just now. USUALLY, caffeine and chinese tea won't have any effect on my sleeping pattern but I guess my body reaction is changing? The getting-older symptoms maybe? (turning to the big 2-0 soon, die)

So basically, my 1st paper is on 14th, which is next Tuesday and is a psychology paper. Another paper on the next day and it's also a psychology paper. And guess what? Yes you guess it right (or maybe no), I have not studied ANYTHING at all. Why? 1. It's mcq. 2. I never attended lectures. 3. It's all theories about psychos (ok I know I like it but so many words? :/).

Hence, what I do recently? 1. Studied all weeks of International Banking and Finance for my last paper which falls on next next Monday. Yes, I am that afraid of failing that freaking subject. 2. Get obessesed with WongFu Productions' videos on Youtube! Yes hello they are the shitzz yo. I mean if you have the time (not during finals like me and now I am doomed because I am addicted and I can't study my psychology), watch their videos. They are really good! *thumbs up for Asian and cute hot guys :p*

Anyhow, serious business/topic here.

I wanna ask you people something pretty interesting (psychology theories kicking in). Have you ever experience friends,family or people around you often tell/show you that something/someone they see/do/whatever reminds them of you? For example:

'omg that shirt is so Jean'
'omg that thing is so you'
'omg that's so you'
'oh shitz Jean you are just so Jean'

ok you get the picture aite. I mean I am not flattering myself but have you at least experience situations where people perceive things and actually link those things/stuffs/whatever with you and as time pass, they just assume that it is you, there's a psychology term for it that I studied before but I just couldn't recall what it is :/. Anyway, I am not complaining but it's kinda interesting to think about why people actually do so. A signature maybe? Well I am not saying I am so damn special but it's pretty cool to think that people actually knows your signature, I mean I don't even really know how people sees me and I don't even know what's my own swags but through others perception, I slowly know what define Jean. And yes, I know I am surely not a girly girl, I mean I am not even a girl inside (ok maybe a little), and I know FOR SURE that when I am consider to be crazy/hyper,mainly hyper all the time, and because of that I know FOR SURE I do not have an image (image as in when I go out I can just do crazy things, if you know me in person then you know what I mean).

So back to the point, why did I just crap that out? It links to workforce. Yes, I am graduating very soon. Blink blink blink fast soon. And I am afraid to come out, why? Because I studied Finance and Psychology. Finance TOTALLY does not link with my personality, I mean I am crazy and hyper. How do you expect me to sit in a bank? (ok lets assume the most common job for Finance student is working in a bank alright?). People around me KNOW that I can't sit still for even 15mins (that's why I don't attend lectures, I have serious hyper issues). How about Psychology then? Yes, it does link a bit of my psychoness but to be a Psychologist, I have to study EVEN FURTHER just to be a small unimportant one and no I don't feel like continue studying right after degree and also I don't think it's useful in Malaysia. So, what's the point of studying like hell everyday just so that I can fit into the workforce and be a NORMAL (no offence) and boring (no offence again) woman that work 9am to 5pm every fucking day and live an extremely SCHEDULE daily life? Yes, money. Future. Family. Luxurious. Social stereotypes. Bla bla bla. All these shits that shape what we NEED to do and not what we WANT to do. I know this may sound cliche but people always say its your life, live it the way you want and not what people ask you to. Bullshit! That person that told you to live your life the way you want just told you what to do. Get my point?

What I am suggesting is that no one ever not dream about something they really want. So what I really wanna do with my life? And not just study just to get a NORMAL and SOCIALLY ACCEPTABLE life in the future? I want to jump around everyday. I want to look at the world in every corner. I wanna experience every single thing in this world in a whole new dimension. Experience every single living things in this world, like how does people survive, how people thinks about each other, how every single DIFFERENT kind of people define the world, I want to spend my days exploring every thing and person, what their minds are thinking, how things work. Yes it's pretty much Psychology (not those Psychologists that treat patients but really person that explore things and come out with own theories) but is it worth it? Is it worth to throw every single responsibility that you have and just explore everyday (I don't mean travelling, and yes of course I love to travel but not that kind of explore I mean). Wake up, go to different places everyday, sit and explore NATURE. Oh yeah, that's the word for it. I want to explore the nature of things and people. Yes. Got it.

I know I am being selfish. I know I am gonna disappoint every person around me especially my family that spent so much on me so that I can be successful next time but what's successful when you are not happy? 'Success is a journey not a destination', yea cliche again but it's true. Dreams and that cruel reality never match, I have to accept the fact, just like every else did. But what if I want to be different? Is the risk that I would take actually. To be different and not be NORMAL and work like a dog just to feed myself. All I need? A person that actually understands this and say 'let's go' and an opportunity. Waiting.

What say you?

satu satu satu lima

2011-05-29T23:45:00.004+08:00

Random: I love ManU boys and Barca boys but I will always devote my love to Spanish team because you know why. ;)

1st paper 16days away and I am very nervous.

So, my everyday routine until 20th June: wake up books, breakfast books, shower books, lunch books, nap books, tea time books, dinner books, drink books, pee books, poop books, rain books, drive books, supper books, sleep books and dream also books.

'Can I have your Facebook account?'

'Erm hee, I don't have a Facebook account.'

'*fucking don't believe* ermm ok *not happy* *the she 'so jual-mahal,think I retard?!' face *'

'*try to not make the person feel like I am fooling around* I can give you my phone number.'

Deactivate Facebook for almost 2months and yes, people wouldn't believe that you don't own one. :/

Society nowadays, you are consider normal if only you own a Facebook. Psychology.

okbyebacktobooks

I shat on my pants watching this video

2011-05-23T23:00:00.005+08:00

Summary of this video:
1. Uncle sam dance
2. 1:15 till 1:32 hotness!
3. 3:17 that green shirt guy is from So You Think You Can Dance
4. 4:37 till 4:40 HAHAHA my cousin did that in public before

From now one the 'Uncle Sam and Uncle Chin' and 4:37 dance will be my groove.
Yes I don't have an image.
For example:

SPOT MINI ME! :)

I have a thing for chubby/meaty guys hello yes

2011-05-17T23:56:00.008+08:00

Today I woke up, I was feeling all energetic to work on my assignment but then till around 12ish I was in a dilemma on whether to watch Lee Dewyze at Subang Parade or go for another plan at KLCC, both same time :( . Was asking around everyone at home to help me choose and all of them get annoyed after awhile but I was still stuck with the decisions.

So at 3pm I decided to go for Lee Dewyze. Showered and out I went alone to Subang :)

AND WELL IT DID NOT DISAPPOINT. IT WAS BETTER THAN I EXPECTED :D

happily driving down

I pick up Mr. Driver and he drop me at Subang and off I went into the mall alone and happily. The initial plan was to go there and ONLY watch him perform but then when I reach, tangan itchy sikit so ended up bought his album on the spot :p

GOOD NEWS WAS after I paid at the counter I straight went into the party zone without checking the plastic and while I was waiting for Mr. Dewyze to get out I checked my purchases and I SAW TWO CDS! :D :D I think the guy mistakenly put in two CDs for me teehee.

Me: *walking towards him happily and smiling*

Him: *signing his cd for me*

Me: Can I shake your hand?

Him: *shake* *smiling* hi nice to meet you.

HELLO! HAPPY GIRL CANNOT SLEEP TONIGHT, CONFIRM! :D and I annoyed everyone after that with 'nice to meet you' hahaha

one with heart shape hehehehehheheheheheh

Below are some videos of his showcase I found on Youtube, couldn't record it with my bb because battery was low :/now I understand why bb users always complained about the battery life and why they selalu go missing when battery is out.

I ter-spot myself among the crowd haha

I found Maroon 5 concert videos! The concert that I missed out :( even though I only fetish chubby men but this is Adam Levine we are talking about. Voice, face, tattoos :p sexay

I don't bake, how?

2011-05-17T01:10:00.004+08:00

Okay now I feel like a total man/boy already. And the story goes like this:

So most of the girls or even my own girlfriends will put much effort in cooking or baking for their beloved and lovely boyfriends. And sometimes I feel like a man hearing them talking about it because I NEVER thought of cooking or baking for all my boyfriends BEFORE (okay maybe got thought about it but never go and try to even get recipe). But then I told myself I am not them and my boyfriends never complained to me before since long ago till now so I thought well, I am at least a good girlfriend to them I guess. Besides, most of them like to cook and they don't mind cooking for me :D

But now *drum rolls* .... Even my sister is starting to watch Youtube baking videos because she wanna bake chocolate cake for her not even 1year boyfriend?

OKAY ITS OFFICIAL I FEEL LIKE A TOTAL FAILURE IN BEING A WOMAN. :( Throw me into the men category please. In the future, is either I get a husband that likes to cook or else I will make myself starve, my husband starve and my children starve to dead. Okay maybe not that bad, got dapao right but ....

okaybye.

sweet serendipity

2011-05-16T23:19:00.001+08:00

My sexy man :) he will be at Subang esok, hmmmmm. To go or not to go?

badabing badaboom

2011-05-16T00:20:00.003+08:00

*was on a convo about acid splasher*

Me: wa scary weh only splash women :(

Y: You see him you tell him, eh wait! *show him balls* nah! go find someone else. hahahahaha :p

Me: My balls are bigger than some men out there! Correct? hahaha!

:| can't believe those words came from my mouth. But then it's the fact, I think I sometimes have the men characteristics? hmm.

O Romeo, Romeo! wherefore art thou Romeo?

2011-05-15T22:53:00.001+08:00

The man that hath no music in himself,
Nor is not moved with concord of sweet sounds,
Is fit for treasons, stratagems and spoils;
The motions of his spirit are dull as night
And his affections dark as Erebus;
Let no such man be trusted.

William Shakespeare, The Merchant of Venice

individualism

2011-05-15T16:18:00.004+08:00

I love kids. I love MJ.

Thus, kids + MJ = :)

I love kids. I love dance.

And so combination of both, its = ♥

Kid: I love Spongebob.

OMG KID I LOVE SPONGEBOB TOO! *raised hand like crazy woman*

going the distance

2011-05-15T16:02:00.001+08:00

THIS GUY IS AWESOME I SWEAR! SO FAIRY TALE-ISH HEHEHEHEHEHEH

kiss me kiss kiss kiss me

2011-05-11T20:06:00.004+08:00

Correction: MY WATCH WAS MAGICALLY FOUND BY A VERY HANDSOME PERSON. THANK YOU OK HANDSOME PERSON. HAPPY NAUU?

So my watch magically appear in front of me few days later after I declare that it was missing. :)

Say hello to goodbye - Shontelle

2011-05-06T17:25:00.004+08:00

I just realised I lost my one and only watch that was a gift few months back :( emotional jor.

Another note, I got more and more Spongebob to add on my obsession :) Got more than 5 soveniour of Spongebob merchandise from Taiwan and today I went and bought myself a Mcd happy meal and got a free Spongebob straw! :D I am gonna collect it all!

sometimes

leather

2011-05-04T21:15:00.003+08:00

Awesome powsume rawsome acoustic line-up:

Neon Tress! I was shocked they were THIS good. *brain exploded*

Keri Hilson.

Paramore with my favorite song! :)

ps: Yesterday, I slipped and fell and knocked an electric gate door so hard I managed to make it open. Now my right leg got two knees. *face palm*

for the first time

2011-05-01T15:38:00.002+08:00

1st day of May. Supposed out from KL but plans failed (always tak jadi -.-). Stuck at home with stupid Psychology assignment to be complete. But every link on reading list seems to be broken on Monash site :/ ?! Completely ruin the mood to continue on assignment already. I want ice cream!

test bias

2011-04-30T16:30:00.003+08:00

today is thor's day

every day is my day

broken smile

2011-04-28T20:04:00.003+08:00

I really wish to go for Maroon 5 but then no one nak teman :'( I missed out Bruno Mars and I am going to missed out Maroon 5 this time. Emotional jor la.

Loving my new Twitter background. Leopard attack! Into wild prints lately ;p

roller blading

2011-04-27T22:27:00.004+08:00

I should be starting on my Psychology lab report(yea another report again :/) but then screwed it, its my holiday. I am enjoying it to the fullest :)

I was not feeling happy cause of what I read and saw so I went and browse youtube and I found this. Haha I am crazy and retard like this too, I think.

being in campus

2011-04-25T13:23:00.005+08:00

Becoming part of a NORMAL university student.

is okay to be not okay. tears don't mean you losing.

constant sneezing

2011-04-21T11:09:00.004+08:00

IT'S 11AM AND I AM DONE WITH MY IBF ASSIGNMENT AFTER STAYING AWAKE FOR ALMOST 26HOURS!

I was in mere thoughts of giving up at 4am because I was so damn tired and hungry and alone in the middle of the night and phoneless (elaborate later)!

But then when I went and check the weight-age of the assignment, it stated 30% (I didn't know it was that high :/) so die die also must finish.

SO NOW I AM SO HAPPY THAT I AM TYPING THIS POST IN CAPS!

I AM GOING TO GET A SHOWER, DRIVE ALL THE WAY TO UNI IN THIS ZOMBIE-BUT-NOW-HYPER-BECAUSE-FINISH-ASSIGNMENT MODE,HAND IN MY ASSIGNMENT,AND TIME TO HAVE FUN AND CELEBRATE!

I AM SURE THAT I WILL K.O. VERY FAST TONIGHT BUT WHO CARES, TOMORROW START SEMESTER BREAK! (okay maybe not tomorrow but I self declare tomorrow 8am class don't have :p)

ps: phoneless definition - I wasn't technically phoneless, I have my phone with me but then because I activated internet services for my phone yesterday and it screwed up my line :( so basically I was phoneless because I cannot make any outgoing texts or calls , I cannot receive any incoming texts or calls, so if anyone were to cari me semalam, saya minta maaf eh. Will contact you back if I got message from Digi about my missed calls.

tomatoes

2011-04-20T23:00:00.003+08:00

my not-very-often rajin moment where I will be in university

I still left less than 24hours to finish 1500words assignment but my current progress is only 68words and I am not feeling stress and emo. I think consequences of over-zombie for few days? :/ no motivation at all. and I don't even have a copy of my friend's work to ~~copy~~ guide me. Always tell myself to not procrastinate every semester but makin teruk as I grow older. Never experience rushing assignment from 0 word count 17hours before the due time. Saya hebat gila.

outfit of the day:

Newly bought kid's size Spain jersey

Green mini

Flippers

Nerd specs

Miss Selfridge bag

✈

*walking towards the table*

Me: Why you look at me with that face? What face is that?

Y: You look so blur. With that jersey you look like a kid but then with that bag you look like an adult. So you like half half, don't know what.

Me: *speechless*

Saw a girl with super nice star tattoos on her arm(right where I want to put mine too!) yesterday. I am so gonna get it on my 21st birthday

2011-04-19T18:02:00.007+08:00

Weather so firetrucking hot is making me sick and sleepy.

Slept at 2am (wanted to not sleep but was too sick and hungry to continue), woke up at 6am, non-stop (exclude out for breakfast and lunch) working on assignment till now.

Psychology due tomorrow left 400words.

Ibf due Thursday, haven't download article.

This morning kopi o ice running very low in me already.

I only had lunch at 4pm.

I was too busy to top up cash into my purse thus I had to pay my rm8 lunch with card. malu sial

Dont even have time to buat hal besar

Eyes (half swollen due to over-emotional while doing assignment this noon) are closing very very soon but MUST force self to open (use toothpick like Tom and Jerry)

After all this, gonna sleep whole Thursday night. Then start eating and partying again on Friday then hello one week semester break!

Zombie. Bye.

vestigiality

2011-04-19T11:31:00.001+08:00

things

2011-04-18T01:11:00.000+08:00

So this is me at 1am with too much emotions in my heart and too many songs in my head. My own lyrics mashup of many songs that popped up in my mind currently.

Sometimes when I am lying beside you
I lie awake and watch you sleeping
You lost in peaceful dreams
So I turn around and hug you tight
And the thought crosses my mind
If when you wake up, there's no more 'we'
Would you ever doubt the way I feel
About you in my heart

If tomorrow the world ends
Will you know how much I loved you
Did I try in every way to show you every day
That you're my only one before
And if we were never to meet again
Is the love I gave you in the past
Gonna be enough for you to remember

'Cause I've lost your faith
Who never knew how much I actually loved you
Now I live with the regrets
That my true feelings for you never were revealed

You gave me so much and will never stop

I took it all and smash it on the floor

I lead you up and make you fall

You would do anything for me

You would die for me

You would take a punch for me

You would gave up the world just to make me happy

You would gave up everything just to see me smile

But I wouldn't do the same

And all I did was hurt you, over and over again

Whatever you do, I always complain that it is not enough

But when I lose you, I always think that it is

It's too late to tell you I'm sorry

Sorry doesn't mean anything to you anymore

Sometimes I feel tired. I feel tired of trying to fix all the mistakes I've made. I always made mistakes, is just me. I cannot be normal and I don't know why. But whenever I did something wrong, is not me who is the one I need to explain to. If it's just me, then I am gonna be so relief because I don't have to answer to anyone, I don't have to hurt anyone.

Unfortunately, every decision I make and every action I do, it always affect someone else. Sometimes I am really sorry for the things I did, I am really. I always know I need to apologize and make up all the mistakes I've made but I still do it. I am abnormal. And I am now really tired to try forcing myself to be normal. I cannot be normal. I cannot be ordinary. I cannot just stay at a fixed point. I am always hyper, I am always energize. Lately all these things had made me slow down, I realized I've lost joy. I realized I've lost my smile. I am tired of forcing myself. Can I don't care too? I am tired of demanding. I am tired of telling myself that I am actually happy but when I am really not. I need someone to just accept this part of me as I am. I am not normal.

分手说爱你

2011-04-17T20:52:00.002+08:00

sexy.

☂

I hate being sick :(

I hate being not able to do my assignments because I don't know how to.

I hate myself for not having ze motivation to be a good student! (just not me :s)

quantify the unquantifiable

2011-04-16T00:52:00.004+08:00

Under condition of rushing assignments and hair pulling in order to dig my brain out and put it on my researches, I just realised I am falling sick. Sneezing more often than I breathe, voice changed. Food poison for 2 days and now this. Seriously, what else?!

muka yang sangat pucat

jersey

2011-04-15T23:23:00.003+08:00

Psychology assignment due coming Wednesday. I flip open my lab manual, totally stuck after reading the instructions. Word count still blank because I don't even know what the hell is the topic I need to research about.

2000words; Wednesday 4pm; topic don't know at all. I feel useless.

International Banking and Finance assignment due coming Friday. 48pages article to read. 1500words comments about it. Haven't even download the article.

1500words; Friday 4pm; haven't download article. I feel useless again.

Feeling so stress and useless I feel like crying.

so strong

2011-04-05T20:53:00.002+08:00

The previous post was obviously being sabotage by cousin and sister.

If you choose to be like this, then it will be.

2011-03-29T18:45:00.002+08:00

I love my family n cousins , especially ah bao n ah yan ! The two lovely ladies.

you so fine it turns me on

2011-03-27T12:11:00.005+08:00

I've deactivated my Facebook for quite awhile now(few days) because I find it very distracting from everything that I need to do everyday. At first it does feel very heavy to press that 'Deactivate' button but then oh well, every important decision is never easy. :)

I've also taken a break off from Twitter in order to cut down my data plan charges. :/ phone bill is costing my purse an absolute bomb so I've decided to stop using it for awhile.

So busy lately that is already week5 in a blink of an eye. And I am still stuck in week2 studies. 3subjects but rather more busy than ever. Lets hope my studies won't go down the drain this semester :s

Neyo your moves are ever so damn sexy. Licking good.

Adam ;p

My new entertainment. This dude cranked me up yo haha

Googly eyes turtle

2011-03-21T21:53:00.005+08:00

I am obsessed.

I have Spongebob pillow.
I have Spongebob t-shirt.
I have Spongebob keychains on pencil case,car key and bag.
I have Spongebob patungs (big medium small,all in).
I have Spongebob angpow packs.
I have Spongebob earphones.
I have Spongebob shopping bag.
I have Spongebob mechanical pencil (new one :D).
I use yellow toothbrush to symbolize Spongebob.
I use yellow phone cover to symbolize Spongebob.

Next new obsession: The Joker

I have Joker bottle (new too ;D).
I have Joker t-shirt (new threee ;p)

Next Jackson

2011-03-20T12:38:00.001+08:00

lettuce

2011-03-10T23:46:00.002+08:00

When I am hungry, I eat. Then I am happy.

When I am sad, I eat. Then I am happy.

When I am angry, I eat. Then I am happy.

When I cry, I eat. Then I am happy.

When I am stuck in jam, I eat. Then I am happy.

When I am bored, I eat. Then I am happy.

Today is not my day

2011-03-10T21:30:00.005+08:00

Last night, before I went to bed. I was already super grumpy due to some issue. And I was already having major headache the whole day.

Today, I woke up. The headache still there but I told myself, ' Today is going to be great. Headache or not, just let it be.'

But, it ended up so bad I think is the worst day I had this month. Why.

1. Headache.

2. Was lectured by mum the night before.

3. I went Maybank and I received bad services. Waited 1hour stupidly on that couch when the stupid admin woman keep telling me,' Wait awhile more miss.'. Yo woman, awhile more is 1freaking hour?!! Guna otak tak? You could just tell your customer how long it takes so that they won't expect it to be 'AWHILE MORE'?

4. Guards issues, twice! Noon was Maybank's guard. Night was condo guard. Today, these two guards made me hate the rest of the guards in this world.

5. Traffic jam.

6. Kumpulan of anger these few days .

6. Every thing turned out to be fucked up.

Due to issue no. 1 2 3 4 5 6, whoever that talked to me today, either got scolded by me or easily misunderstood and was suffering from my tantrum.

The only thing that cheered me up was that my kid scored so well in exam and his mum was so happy with it and I was so proud of myself and him. What I did finally paid off, at least something.

*after I look through his exam paper

'Did I improve?'

'Yes. You did very well this time.'

'So now I write down what I want for present ok.'

*He then start drawing that on a piece of paper

Conclusion: My volcano blow up today after collections of many many things since February. I am going to have a super super major breakdown on health and mental any second soon.

Okaythanksbye.

tripping

2011-03-08T18:24:00.006+08:00

As you may know, I've been trying VERY VERY hard to gain weight for the pass 3years. I eat eat and eat every day but no effect.

After 3years of trying I started to give up. BUT! after I joined my internship, 3months later, I gained 6kg! I know is a good thing but I freaking got a small balloon tummy now :/ Need to go back to workout mode!

torturous

2011-02-22T21:19:00.007+08:00

This life

This situation

I will never thought that my life would be like this

Burning down in flames every second

It's tough

It's hard

It's difficult

Too much to handle at one point

All aspects of things are in chaos

Picking things up slowly and independently

I don't feel painful anymore

I feel heavy

I feel numb

I am bulletproof

Nothing in life can hit me so hard and fall anymore

Because I am already in the most bottom of all

Heart bleeding like paper cut every second

Every second feels like forever

Nightmares

Sleepless night

Every second thinking and dreaming ways to solve things

Too much for one little body to handle

Too much for one little heart to handle

Too much for me to handle

Racing against time to survive

Not a matter of living

But a matter of survival

A road that I take alone

Where is my self-destruct button?

define

2011-02-21T14:19:00.002+08:00

So I've always have a thing for Dane Cook since few years back after I watched Employee of the Month and also Good Luck Chuck.

He has that glow! I dig guys with machoness :p (meaty,hairy and especially with the beard/goatee)

Didn't know he started to be a stand-up comedian recently but heyy, he is damn good! :)

Check this out.

here is to everything

2011-02-20T22:04:00.006+08:00

Dear Ashton,

Hi.

I have so much to say but I don't know how to put it in words but I'm gonna give it a try. People always say: success is a journey, not a destination. You said that yourself too, remember? Then why are you not applying it to yourself? What we've been doing was just fine until you focus too much on the destination and forgotten to have fun with the journey we had together. Yea, it was real fun and sweet in the beginning but then I begin to push you away when you started to force me into it.

Whenever I see you, you will be asking me the same thing you asked the day before. Whenever I see you, you won't stop thinking about the future. Whenever I see you, you forgotten to smile with me while I had fun. Whenever I see you, you think. All I wanted was you to stop thinking for one second when I am physically right next to you. All I wanted was you to look at me and smile.

You told me before, no matter what I do, you will respect my decisions, you will be there with me through the ups and down. But you are not. All you want is to reach that destination as fast as possible. What so good about it? Is just a title. Imagine if we already reached that destination of your choice, is there any difference? We are still gonna do the same thing we are doing now. We will still be the same. So why not enjoy the moment that we have and not think about the end so much?

Have you ever tried to think in my shoes? The situation I am going through? The timing of every thing? Nope, you never did. All you did was pushing and pushing and pushing me to that finish line every single day. By doing that, you scare me away. You push me away further. You made me pull back my wall up when I've previously put down for you to come in.

Every word I said before was true and honest but things change when you push too hard.

I've voiced out what I wanted to say, you cannot understand what I am going through and respect the decisions I choose so I guess fate didn't side our future.

Who knows what will happen tomorrow but it was indeed an awesome journey.

Love,
Joy

I will pull it through

2011-02-16T22:39:00.003+08:00

Forcing myself to throw away all the problems in mind

I feel heavy

Standing in front of the mirror

My reflection seems so sorrow

Mind can never beat reality

Mind can never beat feelings

How can I make it right

I miss used-to-be

I want to make a change

Building my own history every second

Sleep by myself

Staring blankly at the ceiling

Knowing no one understand the situation

But knowing that there's someone that will try to understand it

Knowing that that someone will be there with me through it

Even so, problems doesn't go away

Wish to fast forward

You don't know.

ps: this song I posted contain no hidden meanings. Dedicate to no one.

don't ever look back

2011-02-03T20:57:00.003+08:00

the original version by Rihanna sucks big time (annoying too). THIS IS WAY BETTER!

This guy is the shizz yo.

whats the deal

2011-02-03T20:28:00.006+08:00

Things may get ugly sometimes. But, in the end, everything will be fine. It always does.

Happy Chinese New Year!

when I say yes

2011-01-29T22:15:00.005+08:00

Super old school dances. Niceeeeeee :)

ps: Its the time of the month again. Nope not menstrual. Its being sick :s fucked up anti-body.

pss: Jordan Chan's song suits you. Nelly's song suits another you. One Republic's song suits me.

being rebellious is in my blood. blame me don't blame them

2011-01-27T22:41:00.006+08:00

You.

Me.

Him.

Them.

Mum.

Dad.

Girlfriends.

Everyone.

Ups.

Downs.

Happy.

Sad.

Excited.

Risky.

Stuck.

Confuse.

Tense.

Tears.

Family,when all else fail,they are in your blood.

You and you, I don't wish you to wait or suffer for someone like me. I don't think is worth. I'm just another girl. Even if you would, I'm grateful and do appreciate your understanding.

Me,alone,trying to take all these in. Slowly. And now, all the pieces are fitting in slowly and nicely.

Trying to find my way back home.

tummy

2011-01-24T20:42:00.002+08:00

Oh yes,I finally gain weight! After 3years of trying super duper hard! (Sounds like a married woman desperately wanting to get pregnant HAHA) Anyhow,as much as I love my current weight,I don't like the tummy part! :(

Taking 3days off for meditation of mind session, gym and spring cleaning.

when my city spins around

2011-01-16T10:56:00.007+08:00

Us,half of the interns,just want to have fun.

Hi to the ladies.

And I present you my lovely baby peepee.

time

2011-01-09T22:32:00.000+08:00

I disappoint myself,again.

I will remember you

2011-01-03T00:11:00.002+08:00

I've just finished watching Remember Me 10mins ago and I was shocked it turned out to be a meaningful movie rather than a romantic one. I like it that way though,feel unexpected from what you would thought to be the expected. That's why I never watched trailer or movie description anymore.
Anyhow,its the new year! Well,erm I don't give much shit to festivals so to me,is just another new year ahead. It has been pretty tough for me during December but life goes on no matter what hit me. Having mixed feelings everyday makes me stronger and yea,of course makes me wiser.
But then,I still wish anyone who is currently reading this a Happy New Year ahead aite ;) watch Remember Me! It surely won't disappoint!

keep running

2010-12-12T22:49:00.003+08:00

I never thought that the research I need to do for work is even complicated/troublesome than what I need for assignments in university. Swear stress gila babi right now and busy. Cannot wait for the work to be done and then enjoy the weekends :)

oh and I am extremely clumsy/chou lou? My wrists/fingers/legs/arms got cut by files very often in office. The other day while I was walking up the stairs I knocked my waist bone at the corner of metal stairs handle(neh those sharp sharp corner) and now got bruises. And just now,I slammed the door of my drawer while my right hand was still half inside,ouchh. Sumpah sakit.

fire under ice

2010-12-08T23:07:00.004+08:00

Beneath every person there's a secret behind it. I had a choice. Everything in life had a choice. I choose to be positive and hyper rather than to be negative. I might be insane but don't give a fuck kind off feeling is how I use to deal with things in life. Because when you care too much about everything, somehow,one day everything will disappoint. Easy come,easy go,no attachment. As much as I actually love these people, I don't want to be stuck in this shit hole. But I had to be here,in this place,so I had two choices: to feel sad and cry about it every day and curse everyone for this mishap. or to feel positive and don't give a damn because I cannot do anything to fix it.

I usually don't get this emotional but I had enough and I got no one to talk to because you,the person I am closest with don't understand at all. You weren't there for me. You weren't. Somethings do not need to be shown.

I feel like running to the top of a mountain and scream.

Someone please tell me everything will be alright.

easy come. easy go.

2010-12-07T11:47:00.004+08:00

Mission: Sleep more than 10hours. Status: Mission completed!

my joker face which was already getting better here. previously it was worse.

You are tossing everything away one day at a time.

Too packed. Help.

2010-12-04T07:41:00.009+08:00

I've never been really sleeping since 1st of December, the starting of my intern/training/classes/whatever it is but different from normal internship. I am not saying it is very bored or stressful like normal interns but then this one pretty interesting and fun?! Is just the changes in brain function hours,the traffic,the sleeping cycle and my over-hyperness that makes me tired. (you know how I can be when my inner energy start to kicks in ;p)

I thought yesterday night I can at least have some beauty sleep till noon since today it is a Saturday,but it became worse. I slept at 2am and I woke up at 5am. Changed from every SLEEP-ABLE place in the house and still ended up not able to fall back asleep.

I need this sleep seriously. My joker lips haven recover,I am getting skinnier still and I can feel another fever coming in. And I am looking at my schedules, the only time I can spend time sleeping again is 3days later.

Tolong.

I've been replaying 'Like A G6' nonstop for an hour already. Mind fucked. But I am still hyper. Freaking wondering where the hell I get so much energy for being hyper without sleeping. Power.

hyper defines me

2010-12-03T22:34:00.000+08:00

I hor got hor veeri rainbow results hor yetserday. So till tuuday arlso I veri hapii so I wanne write hor veri broken engerlish hor biicoz hor I hyper ma. And hor I learn fororm neh tiis video lo.

And this two also verii naisi one lo. Listen okai?

1. This one skip to 0:50 only start WATCH!!!

2. Love the Way You Lie - Facebook version

Now hor party time lor cozzy hor I verii hapii lo. Bai

why so serious son

2010-11-23T13:11:00.004+08:00

I've been sick since the starting of my holiday. So basically I've been sick for the beginning of my two weeks freedom,how sad it is huh :( boohooo

Never fail to get sick every month since September. And yesterday,my lips got infected :( for some reason and today I had to cancel all my lunches and appointments just because I look like Joker :(

You let my colors burn

2010-11-17T16:01:00.004+08:00

I watched Dear John earlier today. And without fail,of course I cried a river watching it. I may be over sensitive and emotional especially with movies,but then the movie was really really emotional.

Honestly,I do know how it feels to be seperated away from the one you loved for weeks/months. Even though I don't have to worry about his safety every single second like what was in the movie,but the feeling,is all the same. That moment before he leaves,that moment when I see him after weeks/months. It does stop for couples who study overboard,the pain they need to endure for only few years. For me,it does not stop. The constant seperation within every year had became a routine to me. No one says its gonna be easy. Is the journey that worth holding on for.

And now,next in the list: The Notebook.

so fly so high like a butterfly

2010-11-16T00:00:00.005+08:00

I am finally able to watch Gossip Girl! and it surely didn't disappoint me hek Ed Westwick is still as hot and sexy as ever. ;p

And though so,I did found my own Chuck that I can snuggle on. That sexy thick eyebrows of his,I can never get tired of :) oh boy,without you I would be happy but I wouldn't be me if you weren't in it

Les voy a faltar mientras usted está fuera de mi niño

black parade during finals,exhaustion

2010-11-15T00:54:00.004+08:00

So yes exam is over! Almost 4months of holiday ahead :)

I've been real busy especially during the 2weeks of finals,last minute work kills :s

Real example of my last minute work: Study 13weeks of psychology materials one day before morning paper. And I knew nothing about the whole subject for the whole semester. Let's just hope I pass k!

I don't know why I am always rushing around and it had became a constant thing every day :O I was cleaning my car the other day and I found a pair of flats, my Reebok slipper and Converse sneakers. I guess I've been so busy that I need to change my shoes only when I reach my destinations. But it save time though heh ;) efficiency my friend.

Two dumb blonde situations I encountered during stress period of finals:

I forgotten what is 'rich' in Malay when I need to reply a text. I had to Google Translate it :s
I forgotten how to spell 'magazine' when I need to comment on something

It's time to go gaga/omg over: movies,gossip girl, shopping, Ed Westwick, football, Djietl, sleep, eat, buffet and boys.

if we meet again

2010-10-19T21:58:00.006+08:00

A girl needs her sexy time fantasy too like boys over Megan Fox.

And this is my fantasy:

He surely did pump up my energy to continue on my revisions ;)

I know Gossip Girl Season 4 is out since last month but I don't dare to even download it cause I know I will go gaga for weeks over my little sexy Chuck (;p) so just wait okay bby? I will watch you after 12th Nov! :) :)

So I have a very serious/bad habit of looking at/typing on/texting on/chatting with/using - my handphone whenever I walk around in uni/malls/streets/carparks/every where. I swear I will fall into a lubang one day or hit someone(please be hot guys) or tripped over or hit by a car (okay not that bad.*touchwood*).

yummy chummy ipad bear

2010-10-12T23:35:00.005+08:00

During period of finals, I am sure to have a list of songs that I replay every day whenever I need to focus myself. Previously, most of my lists were of emo and sad and slow songs, example.

This semester? My list:

The two songs on previous post, and this two :) :)

Mum told sister: I think your jie sot jor eh. Keep listening to oldies and weird gummy bear.

I am lame and I know it

2010-10-11T21:34:00.003+08:00

Saya sangat stress so this is my way to keep myself from going insane. (shake butt and do assignment :D)

si gemuk

2010-10-11T19:01:00.007+08:00

Finals: 28th October 2010

Today: 11th October 2010

Days differences: 17

Progress on revision for finals: 0%

Why: Trying to finish psychology assignment due Wednesday with NO guide by the previous tutor(now got new one because she was fired few weeks ago) because she was never here for classes and she cancelled all her classes in the beginning of the semester (first few weeks cancelled last minute - class at 9am she cancelled at 9.30am. Then after that cancelled the whole semester).

Mood: Stress

conocer a la familia

2010-10-10T14:56:00.002+08:00

What are the difficult things that I encounter when I am to join my other half for his family events that includes meeting the whole family tree?

Trying to remember who is who before dinner by memorizing the family tree chart. (worse than memorizing sejarah)
Make sure don't overdress.
Always keeps a smile on your face even though you don't understand the language.
Always take one piece of the food they offer right in front of your face even though you are full as balloon. (and the whole family tree are in giant size, or is it me that I am extremely skinny?)

Worst part?

Looking for dresses in your own closet that doesn't says: I dress like a slut and I date your son/nephew/grandson.

29 and counting

2010-10-09T12:53:00.003+08:00

*receive a message in the middle of the night but I was already asleep*

*next morning once I woke up*

'Morning! Happy 25months bby!'

'Okay la haha forgotten?' *he already wished me the night before*

*wait a minute* *count count count..* 'Oopss! Was supposed to be 29months! Happy 29months! :)'

*his message the night before was actually correct but he didn't realised that I wished wrongly*

'Aiyo. You failed your maths?'

kthxbye

2010-10-02T01:16:00.003+08:00

I find this very annoying:

I don't understand why people that are using Blackberry can get so pissed or defensive when others that are using iPhone 3 or 4 or whatever Apple products talks about how cool their phone is. I mean dude,take a chill pill. We know your Blackberry cun la,others talk about how cool iPhone je,why la take it so serious until wanna fight all in social site (uhiegibjkdbaktwitterjhfjhiuabcajbfi). Each has its pros and cons so just shut up and enjoy your phone la wtf. Who cares how cool other brands,you got yours,you like it,we all know about it and so end of story. No need spread around iPhone sucks,no need tell others to fucking must use iPhone,no need to boycott those that use iPhone. So fucking childish please.

ps: I am not bias over any of the two brands and I am not the one involved but this annoyed me because it spam-ed my page. So please shut up and enjoy your phone okay :)

djietl is love

2010-09-30T00:07:00.002+08:00

Okay so I am having men dilemma right now. Previously I put my name as 'jean villa wong' in twitter and just now I thought of changing it to 'jean villa westwick wong'. BUT! Twitter made everything so simple that it doesn't allow long names! (wtf). how now spongebob? :(

option 1: jean villa wong

option 2: jean westwick wong

option 3: jean wong

I love both British and Spanish men,a lot :) ngehehehehe

ps: I is missing you even though I didn't tell you. 6days :(

noodles

2010-09-21T16:26:00.002+08:00

Last week - lose weight because diarrhea

Now - lose weight because high fever

ps: I already have nothing to lose la omg :(

Brotherly love

2010-09-18T00:11:00.004+08:00

I am stuck at home on a Friday night because I need to get my assignment done :( I swear I've been so slacked and lazy from my academic I only spent maximum of 5hours per week in uni and no hours at home studying.

Anyhow,I've lose weight due to nonstop cirit for few days but I think is all better now. I don't know why can't I gain at least some weight while I have a wolf appetite. (I went buffet and all my MALE friends K.O. before me. I was the last one standing eating. Usually I would be the champion if I go for steamboat buffet :p ngehehehe)

Stupid cacings in my stomach/whatever that cause me being this skinny,please at least give me a break can ah? My whole body shrink already lea! (Include those parts where I were already quite kecil/flat :s).

I finally found you :)

need.to.start.doing.assignment.

2010-08-30T12:34:00.002+08:00

My current phone wallpaper.

2010-08-29T15:14:00.004+08:00

My current name: jean villa westwick wong.

I. am. greedy. com (how to not be greedy with that face above?)

This is what happen when you didn't visit Tumblr(Ed Westwick in Tumblr) for too long and suddenly all of his sexiness floods you down

2010-08-27T23:20:00.002+08:00

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fly fly away you evil thing

2010-08-27T22:30:00.004+08:00

OH YES I FOUND MY SPECS! (I actually needed to start wearing specs when I was Form1,but then after awhile,my power kinda decrease so I ignore my specs. In between years of my high school I did wear sometimes,but not often. When I was in college,I changed a new one and used to wore it but only for a few months. Stop until now. But recently I realized I am so 'blind' I cannot read slides in lecturer halls and I totally cannot see the board in tuts classes. I also find it hard to watch tv at night. And today I cannot even see the signboards well while I was driving. So in the end I decided to finally go searching for my long lost glasses inside pile of boxes that I left in my 'spider web boxes' area)

I am not 'blind' anymore!! :D *jump and show happy face*

Sister showed me this just now and I think this guy is real awesome! His version was actually better than the original! :)

Current playing: I heard it in radio for many times this week but I didn't manage to get the artist of this song. And now,wow!! This guy is actually pretty pretty hot toooo! :p *go google his pictures*

thats why never write a diary about other guys :p hoho (write it in your phone's microsoft of course)

nerd!

2010-08-26T23:32:00.003+08:00

Recent realization: I've lose weight again because I've skipped breakfast for the past 1month because I got no appetite because I don't know why.

Productive day today: I've spent 5hours(non-stop) just to study 1chapter of Financial Management.

Best feeling of today: Getting to solve a question CORRECTLY after 5hours of studying!

Assignments: Still pending and piling up like gunung.

Current super addiction: He is like a drug.

who to call

2010-08-21T00:11:00.005+08:00

Convo with a friend in msn earlier.

K: whats with what's villa?

Me: what what villa?

K: your name.

Me: google david villa.

K: tak da internet hahaa

Me: babi liar liar pants on fire

K: HAHAA !! done. just a infamous footballer..

Me: shutdappppppp

K: you married to him le ?

Me: tak watch world cup lea?

K: world cup ? what cup ? A cup ?

Me: bra cup

K: B cup ? HAHHAA !!you got A-- ?

Me: saya f

K is a he and he tak tau siapa tu David Villa. Tsk tsk tsk...

And no la,I am a total flat in front. ;0

akibat tak tengok kiri kanan semasa memandu

2010-08-20T20:32:00.003+08:00

Today: Attend lecture - lecturer sucks - talk crap - got bored - suffer sleepiness - finish class - half blur - walk to car park - get into car - get out of the parking lot without looking left right - BANG!

1.
2. Few seconds later

I am really sorry mr.motor

Lesson of the day:

Never drive after sleepy lectures

Never attend stupid lectures anymore

To top all of that: I am effing sick right now.

And: I'm having non stop weird and scary nightmares. Remember the kidnapped nightmare few weeks ago (read here)? I had another one few days ago,yea kidnapped again but by many big black dudes. And just now,I had a nightmare that I was robbed. AWESOME!!

why

2010-08-18T21:29:00.003+08:00

If you sing the first song to me,I will definitely come back to you.

If you sing the second song to me,I will marry you.

I was thinkin about her, thinkin about me.
Thinkin about us, what we gonna be?
Open my eyes, yeah; it was only just a dream.
So I travel back, down that road.
Who she come back? No one knows.
I realize, yeah, it was only just a dream.

I was at the top and I was like I’m at the basement.
Number one spot and now she found her a replacement.
I swear now I can't take it, knowing somebody's got my baby.
And now you ain't around, baby I can't think.
Shoulda put it down. Shoulda got that ring.
Cuz I can still feel it in the air.
See her pretty face run my fingers through her hair.

My lover, my life. My shorty, my wife.
She left me, I'm tied.
Cuz I knew that it just ain't right.

I was thinkin about her, thinkin about me.
Thinkin about us, what we gonna be?
Open my eyes, yeah; it was only just a dream.
So I travel back, down that road.
Who she come back? No one knows.
I realize, yeah, it was only just a dream.

When I be ridin man I swear I see her face at every turn.
Tryin to get my usher over, I can let it burn.
And I just hope she notice she the only one I yearn for.
Oh I miss her when will I learn?

Didn't give her all my love, I guess now I got my payback.
Now I'm in the club thinkin all about my baby.
Hey, she was so easy to love. But wait, I guess that love wasn't enough.

I'm goin through it every time that I'm alone.
And now i'm missin, wishin she'd pick up the phone.
But she made a decision that she wanted to move one.
Cuz I was wrong.

And I was thinkin about her, thinkin about me.
Thinkin about us, what we gonna be?
Open my eyes, yeah; it was only just a dream.
So I travel back, down that road.
Who she come back? No one knows.
I realize, yeah, it was only just a dream.

If you ever loved somebody put your hands up.
If you ever loved somebody put your hands up.
And now they're gone and you wish you could give them everything.
I said, if you ever loved somebody put your hands up.
If you ever loved somebody put your hands up.
And now they're gone and you wish you could give them everything.

I was thinkin about her, thinkin about me.
Thinkin about us, what we gonna be?
Open my eyes, yeah; it was only just a dream.
So I travel back, down that road.
Who she come back? No one knows.
I realize, yeah, it was only just a dream.

And I was thinkin about her, thinkin about me.
Thinkin about us, what we gonna be?
Open my eyes, yeah; it was only just a dream.
So I travel back, down that road.
Who she come back? No one knows.
I realize, yeah, it was only just a dream.

♥

Oh her eyes, her eyes
Make the stars look like they're not shining
Her hair, her hair
Falls perfectly without her trying

She's so beautiful
And I tell her every day

Yeah I know, I know
When I compliment her
She wont believe me
And its so, its so
Sad to think she don't see what I see

But every time she asks me do I look okay
I say

When I see your face
There's not a thing that I would change
Cause you're amazing
Just the way you are
And when you smile,
The whole world stops and stares for awhile
Cause girl you're amazing
Just the way you are

Her nails, her nails
I could kiss them all day if she'd let me
Her laugh, her laugh
She hates but I think its so sexy

She's so beautiful
And I tell her every day

Oh you know, you know, you know
Id never ask you to change
If perfect is what you're searching for
Then just stay the same

So don't even bother asking
If you look okay
You know I say

When I see your face
There's not a thing that I would change
Cause you're amazing
Just the way you are
And when you smile,
The whole world stops and stares for awhile
Cause girl you're amazing
Just the way you are

The way you are
The way you are
Girl you're amazing
Just the way you are

When I see your face
There's not a thing that I would change
Cause you're amazing
Just the way you are
And when you smile,
The whole world stops and stares for awhile
Cause girl you're amazing
Just the way you are

California girl

2010-08-13T14:57:00.003+08:00

Don't mess with me because I am a crazy person.

One random windy afternoon I decided to jump into the pool with my clothes on with sister as the photographer.

daisy dukes bikinis(long sleeve) on top

young wet and wild.

My left eye hurts :/

2010-08-09T20:53:00.002+08:00

Today - very very bad day,why?

1. 9am class,reached uni 920am but class cancelled,AGAIN! I swear I hate this tutor the first time already,but now,super super duper boycott! Since semester starts,she already cancelled 2 out of 2 of her classes at the last minute! HELLO DAMN IRRESPONSIBLE! Have to wait till people rush to uni only cancel is it? If cannot make it then inform one day before la. Babi geram. This semester I planned to not skipped class but this is what I get la? Going back to bad student already!

2. Because I was rushing for the one class of the day which was cancelled in the last minute,hence I forgot to bring my wallet. And therefore,today I was money-less,IC-less and license-less. But luckily I made it home without police block :s

3. Horse face. Boo whatever!

4. Djietl decided to let me choose anything I ?want for birthday and I wanted a watch very badly. But after shopping for watches for an hour,I became grumpier because I am too skinny to even wear a watch on my wrist :s

Early early grumpy already. :|

The only thing that KINDA cheer me up a little were 27months and my 6yearsold korean student :)

I miss my mum

2010-08-08T01:11:00.003+08:00

Many said that I look like my mum since I was born.

When I was in primary and high school,people would SAY that I look a lot like her. But after I got into college and started to keep my hiar long,people would MISTAKENLY RECOGNISE THAT I AM MY MUM from the back. (Not so good compliment for me but good for her kan? She looks young!haha)

We now have the same body size(we shared clothes) and same hairstyles(me and my sister got our natural curls from her).

Lets compare,shall we?

Am I my mum's daughter or what? :)

ps:

oh mum,your daughter was born a little bit crazy and over hyper.

This too is awesome

2010-08-05T01:20:00.000+08:00

arts

2010-08-05T00:59:00.006+08:00

My Top 3 So You Think You Can Dance routines: (randomly listed. 'Bleeding Love' one is still the best out of the others)

cabbages

2010-08-04T23:00:00.005+08:00

Finally!I have the time to sit in front of the computer for more than 15mins after OH-SO-MANY days! I've never been this busy and tired for 2weeks straight. :( I miss Tumblr(Villa and Westwick especially)! Thank god there is Twitter,at least I won't be dead from the webworld.

I am almost falling sick already.boooo :s sore throat is the worst sickness ever!and I don't know why the hell am I losing weight in a sudden. I totally lose my appetite,I can actually don't eat for the whole day :O (sometimes I do feel like eating every second,but the chance will only be 10% out of the 2weeks)

So if you somehow bump into me,don't be surprise if you see a pale face,sleepy eyes,absolutely blur and skinnier me. (I am always late for classes since uni starts :s)

If I were to be a superhero with a super power,I will choose to have the ability to freeze time! (so that I can run all my errands,SLEEP!,start studying and actually do my tut works,SLEEP!,eat,reach uni in time,SLEEP!.) or maybe a super power that I won't worn out by not sleeping for 48hours?

One random hot and sunny day when me and my fren,Flora decided to tour around Sunway:

kita jakon sikit tak pernah pergi Sunway Hotel.

people actually thought the we were tourists when we walked around the area :D

Did you went MOS at noon before? No lea :p

ps: I had a long nap in the evening,like after so many days,BUT!I had a nightmare :'( grossome and scary one! For what I remember,the dream includes David Villa,Michael Jackson,car,black guy in motobike,petrol station,highway,flat tyres,guns,kidnap and being tied in dirty toilet. Babi betul siapa incepted that fucking dream in my mind! :(

all I want is for us to go back to normal

2010-07-31T03:10:00.000+08:00

Its 3am in the morning right now and I am still up :s holidays were long gone and classes already on for 2weeks but damnn,I am still not in the mood for uni :O (I can honestly tell you this is so not me because the previous 3semesters for my degree I was never once not ganjiong about my studies during the beginning of the weeks). Mood swings most of the time :s (super duper uber hyper at one point and then be completely sad another). Blame the weather and menstrual cycle. booohooo

ps: As much as I enjoy the total freedom I have while mum is not around,I do miss my mum. :(

because I am tired of fighting.

I wonder why I need so much time for that,it doesn't make sense at all

2010-07-24T21:31:00.003+08:00

I watched this video every day whenever I feel bored. Why?

1. Chuck Bass/Ed Westwick is so damn sexy.
2. Chuck Bass.
3. Fucking romantic (2nd place. 1st place is still Titanic :D).
4. You will just melt right away,seriously.
5. Chuck Bass.

ps: Tumblr is such a good place for me to stalk Villa and Westwick :)

forever and always - simbajeanvilla.mermaidmelissaklose.pumbaiekatorres

2010-07-23T23:21:00.006+08:00

Friends come and go,boyfriends come and go,birds come and go,hot guys come and go,bitches come and go. But,these 2 are here to stay. I love you babies :)

3 of us found each other since 2008

even though after pre-u we go our seperate ways,but we always have time for each other

and till now. :)

(same toilet after a year)

Today:

1. Found SpongeBob luggage bag that cost RM400.

2. Me and mel gave birth to a baby at Pavilion right after the *thing* we did in Parkson.

3. And I was stuck. (the one who took the whole process was laughing all the way)

sometimes it takes what is broken to be whole again

2010-07-17T00:35:00.003+08:00

Results out - happy with it (can finally enjoy holiday fully even though left few days)
I thank god for my results (Villa is my god now)
I am super obsessed with David Villa and Ed Westwick(Chuck Bass)
Year 2 Sem 2 starts next week
When life falls,let it be because I am a survivor
Inception was great,it somehow make you so focus and it mindfucked your brain during that 2hours plus. Christopher Nolan - good job! Leonardo Dicaprio - awesome job!
I ordered 2portions of food for dinner that make me feel so damn sleepy now
I SERIOUSLY NEED TO CUT DOWN ON CURSING!
te amo bebe
te echo de menos

SPAIN FUCKING GOD!

2010-07-12T14:14:00.005+08:00

I DON'T KNOW WHY AM I SO EXCITED(STILL) AFTER SPAIN WON THE WORLDCUP 9HOURS AGO. I think I may love Spain more than I love my own country now,sorry tanahku Malaysia.

And yes,even though Villa didn't score,I am still gonna change my name to 'jean villa wong' on twitter for a month :)

And yes,I am gonna go hunt myself a Spanish man soon when I am in good shape (no messy hair/pimples/puffy eyes).

And no,I don't think I want an octopus as a pet because it is really really slimy and gross.

I have never been so happy since 2weeks and I am now because Spain won but it is still not my home country. Weird but true :)

More of Spain on my Tumblr :)

my current phone wallpaper :)

nos vemos.

hugh jackman frenzy

2010-07-08T15:28:00.005+08:00

come on boys! MAKE YOUR COUNTRY PROUD!

my facts on football:

SPAIN ALREADY MADE HISTORY BY GOING INTO FINALS! AND THEY ARE GOING TO TOO WHEN THEY WIN!
David Villa please score one more goal!
I watch WorldCup not because I wanna impressed my guys friends/boyfriend/any guy(actually those I am closed with weren't even interest in watching). I am actually interested in watching it myself
If I planned to watch 2.30am match,I need to prepare for door-banging-from-mum-if-she-is-at-home-at-1pm-next-day
IF SPAIN WIN THE WORLDCUP 2010,I WILL GO FIND MYSELF A SPANISH GUY (especially with the David Villa's goatee)
I wanna get an octopus as a pet (even though I never get close to LIVE animals/sea creatures especially slimy ones)
There is no ugly men in Spain (I know not facts of football)
Please don't put stupid Pedro (no.18) in the finals
Please put Torres or Fabregas!
I love you,David Villa ♥

Can I change my nationality?

awhile

2010-07-07T15:16:00.001+08:00

I've been laying low/anti-social for a few days due to several things that happened recently. I guess I need time to breathe and chill awhile? Even though I still need time to fix and go through every thing but I guess I am feeling much better already. What doesn't destroy you,make you stronger,yes?

Anyway,I've finally watch Gossip Girl! Yes I know I am outdated,as usual. I don't catch up with latest fashions/celebs/dramas/movies much I can say. I always waited after it went off season then I will be in season. It was pretty addictive though :) I would prefer Penn Badgley > Ed Westwick > Chase Crawford. (BUT ALL OF THEM ARE HOT AND SEXY especially when Chuck says,' I am Chuck Bass.')

ps: Despite all the shits that went through. In between those many days of hell, I remember very well that I was able to smile before going to bed at 4.30am and not having shitty nightmares. Why? Because of David Villa! (yes I may have some obsession over Idols/singers/footballers,but hey, I AM A GIRL) It was the match between Spain and Paraguay I think. I was already sobbing and depressed the night before the match and was even worse when Argentina kalah. BUT THANK GOD FOR DAVID VILLA!

so super fucking hot.

PLEASE SAVE SPAIN TONIGHT!

(If you think you saw enough of him in my blogspot,think twice. Try clicking my Tumblr :p)

not afraid - Eminem

2010-06-30T13:54:00.002+08:00

I WAS SILENT JUMPING AND SCREAMING WHEN DAVID VILLA DO THAT! (it was 3something in the morning) :D GO SPAIN!

Bye bye Portugal/C.Ronaldo (you look really ugly when you play football btw. And whats with the sombong face?) :p

Daily jelly:

I'm planning to un-private my twitter,soon,maybe.
Football. Spain(Villa) and Argentina.
Why is every thing tumbling down in a sudden? :(
Yes? No?
Why are ALL of you being such an ass?
12pm- mum banging on my door then scold: 'wake up la! what time already! why you wake up watch football?dad also didn't watch you watch'.

confusion sucks,messing up big time

2010-06-29T21:45:00.003+08:00

So true. Even a tough girl need all these.

It is what it is. Until it isn't

2010-06-28T17:15:00.000+08:00

I thought I can finally had some good night sleep after finals but noo. I actually stay up all night just for football! ;p hehe I wasn't even that hardworking for finals. Football > studies. And yes,my face is as dry as desert because of staying up so late every day and then going out mostly every day :O seriously my back is starting to hurt real bad every day after I woke up :s

me and my baby girl pumba stay up all night just to watch our Argentina! we are hardcore fans babeh! :)

Moving Mountains - Usher

2010-06-27T14:45:00.000+08:00

So there is this girl added me in Fb,we have 87mutual friends from high school,BUT! the thing is I seriously don't have a memory that she was actually in my school before. Sorry whoever you are. :O still thinking whether should accept the request or not because well I don't simply accept requests I don't really know though.

Anyway,I found this small little dude from Youtube. He is better than Justin Bieber, I mean his voice is wayy better. (even though you seriously will get goose bumps listening to his songs)

And yea,I've just changed my Tumblr theme and this theme contain Ask feature. So for those who have requested me to put a chatbox over there or even here,your requests are finally granted ;) Any rants about me,just shoot it over there. Thank you.

chasing pavements

2010-06-27T00:15:00.005+08:00

Girls,if men ever choose you over games,say this to him: WELL I CHOOSE FOOTBALL OVER YOU ANYWAY!

So boys,treat women right! :) (I mean in general too people!because girls worth more than anything and thats very true. You don't want them to wait too long for you because they will think you don't care)

Supporting S.Korea(lose 10mins ago but good game boys,fuck Uruguay),Spain and Argentina all the way babeh!

I find Spain footballers so super sexy you cannot imagine what my mind is thinking right now :p ngehehehehe and oh! Even Buzz Lightyear speaks Spanish! Uhlala sexy shitt! (I find Toy Story 3 very nice,great movie for people like us who are turning old,funny yet touching)

Gerard Piqué (mhhhmmm)

Say hi to my new baby: David Villa ;)

How can you not love this guy? Sexayyy

Macho like mad *faint* (My Villa is on the right side)